The gifts ranged from $8 million at Purdue to $1.5 million donated to the University of North Carolina at Asheville. The University of Iowa received $7 million; the University of Southern Mississippi, the University of North Carolina at Greensboro and the University of Maryland University College got $6 million each; the University of Colorado at Colorado Springs was given $5.5 million; and Penn State-Harrisburg received $3 million.

I wanted to give it all to Purdue but was afraid that you’d all catch on too quickly.  I just had an extra $45M lying around and said, what the heck, let’s give it to some schools. Of course the article mentions that they weren’t supposed to try and find the donor (me, of course) but aren’t they trying to find me by running the article to begin with.  It appears Purdue was one to actually keep its promise by not submitting comments for this article.

I have half a mind to ask for that money back, but it was so hard to arrange anonymously the first time, that getting it back would probably prove way too difficult.  Just remember universities, say nothing more!

NOTE: THIS IS JUST A JOKE, I AM NOT THE DONOR.  How sad is that; most people can’t take a joke so to be safe, I’m adding this kind of qualifier?